Thursday, July 24, 2008

Anticipation of Creepiness

This morning, I'm listening to Laura Clayton's playlist. It's very good and I listen to it everyday. All day. Quinn loves that about me (read: sarcastic). I get excited about something (new CD, new movie) and I'm all about it for weeks. "Are you listening to that, again?" Yep. I enjoy kicking a dead horse, baby. Understand, not a real dead horse, it's just a saying.

Thank you, my friends, for your encouragement. I do not often like to blog about my insecurities and struggles (what a downer!), but I feel that if I am using this as a true journal, then I MUST be honest. As Colonel Mustard says on Clue: "There's safety in numbers, dear". Of course, he's saying that while shaking a wrench at Miss Scarlet. Anyhoo, somehow, there's encouragement in being honest and knowing that others struggle, too. Part of feeling so utterly alone is the fact that we are not honest with one another; fearing looking weak and powerless in front of others. So, I must be honest, lest I wander too far down the helpless path by myself.
Which is sure to be met with more discouragement and temptation for my melancholy heart to despair.

Other news:
Quinn has one more day at UPS! He's very excited and starting in the Admissions department on Monday. Selfishly, I'm glad he won't have to go to bed at 7:00 anymore. I get creeped out at night when I'm sitting by myself. Ever since childhood, I have never liked being the last one to go to sleep in the house. I hear every creak, and jump at every noise. Last night, I watched CSI: New York and was thoroughly terrified that somebody was sitting in my attic, waiting for me to go to sleep. Oh yes, I'm quite morbid.

On morbid thoughts: Now that we are ending summer (I know not officially, but school starts in two weeks), I'm thinking about fall and all the fun, creepy things I like to do in the fall. I'm always reading an Edgar Allen Poe story and quoting The Raven with wide eyes to the terrified children, who ask for it again and again. What can I say? They're my kids. They're already asking about Monster Pizzas and Caramel Apples. Fun times. It's my most creative time of year. I hope to continue the same tradition of reading an Edgar Allen Poe story out loud outside on Thursday nights in October. I loved that. I love fall. Maybe I'll use this picture again soon:

Bwa, ha, ha! Bring on fall!


heather said...

Where is the picture of the face in the camp fire? I love that one. And I love your love of creepiness. And thank you for putting my thoughts into words it is nice to know we are not alone in our fears.

Missy said...

I am sad for you that school starts back in 2 weeks.
Where did the summer go?

I wish my computer was in an area of the house where I could listen to peoples play lists too.
You are good at finding good ones.

I think I might watch Phantom of the Opera this weekend in honor of you!

Anonymous said...

Kim I can so relate. I've been blogging a lot about my downers. My mom and sister in law have contacted me in the last couple of days. I think they are secretly wondering if I'm about to jump off a bridge! You share my same philosophy about the blogging. I am totally honest, whether it's a good thing or not.

I always liked this picture by the way.

Amy said...

you scare me sometimes...

E said...

Ah, I freak myself out with CSI, too!! And I feel the same way about fall: I get creative, too. And I am SO making Monster Pizzas with my little cousins! How fun! Thanks for the idea, Kim!

j_webb said...

FALL ROCKS!!! I think people who are into Fall are always a bit different, a little morbid and dark. I am a horror buff and a fall-lover myself. Cool air, all the colors, I dig it.
YA!! I'm going to read some Poe outside too...what a novel idea. Poe has a way of setting the scene like no other.
The girls get scared very easily ....and I mean all four of them. Anne Marie is the worst. She is an "eye coverer" during horror movies. ..."O, I can't watch!!...what happened?" Then you pause the movie to verbally tell her what she wouldnt watch! ....ahhh,but I love her and her little quirks!
Can't wait to see you guys!