Wal-Mart Fairytale

A long time ago, in a land not too far away, there lived a girl. She was an interesting thing, loving to do cartwheels in big fields (but only if the grass wasn't too long- snakes, you know) and randomly sing showtunes. She was the only girl living in her house with her prince and their three darling, innocent boys, of whom she adored.

One evening, while she was fixing a gourmet dinner of corndogs and french fries, her dear prince brought her the mail. "Oh look, darling!" she exclaimed as she read a flier, "there's a Back to School sale going on at Wal-mart starting Sunday." He nodded his approval and she smiled her innocent, sweet smile back at him while she doled out raw carrots on paper plates. "Those are such good prices, "she thought, "I'll be able to get everything I need for such a good price." She danced about the kitchen, cleaning up after the mess she made, and sat down with her family, excited about the prospect of saving her dear family money.

The days rolled by and finally Sunday morning dawned, bright and clear. She yawned and stretched, gazing at the clock that read 5:30am. "I know it is so early, but I must get a jump on things if I am to be the first one to arrive at the big sale!" So our dear heroine jumped out of bed and readied herself for the big sale. "I just can't wait!" She just couldn't wait.

It must be told that she briefly thought on the way to the store, "what if they don't have what I need?" Poor darling. But she dismissed those dismal thoughts and said to herself, "of course they'll have what I need; it's the first day of the sale!" Then she turned on some sunshiny music and sang as she drove into the parking lot of the grand Wal-mart. She walked into the store and hauled out her list of school supplies she needed, did a quick second check, grabbed a grocery cart, and skipped a little as she made her way to the special area designated for the school supplies.

But, dear me, what did she find? All of the school supply bins were empty or nearly empty. "Oh dear!" she thought, "This will never do." She searched the shelves around the school supply bins and found that most of what she needed was not there. "Help! Help!", she cried. "Can't anyone help me?" But, no one came to her aid. She searched high and low and became quite anxious (and maybe a little angry) until she found someone. "Excuse me," she said, not as sweetly as she could've, "but may I speak to a manager." He grouchily replied that he would call someone. So our dear heroine waited and waited until a very gruff, unhappy troll approached her. "Can I help you?", he asked in his gruff voice. She tried not to be frightened, as not to show him her fear, and said, "Kind sir, I came today to your lovely store to partake of your Back to School sale. And all of the things that I came here for are gone!" He looked at her face (charming face) and growled, "didn't know anything about it." And then he turned and went back to his lair. The poor thing! She was certainly unhappy. Her step had lost its bounce and her smile had disappeared! All that time wasted. She was such at a loss, that she didn't know quite what to do. She went and purchased the things she had found, was checked out by a surly, old witch, and then slowly walked back to her awaiting vehicle. She drove home, letting a lone tear slide down her disappointed cheek.

She came home and told her troubles to her waiting prince. He was kind and gave her a much-needed hug and encouraged her. She looked at her receipt and saw that she had been charged more for the items she bought than what was on her flier. Sigh. "I think I'm just going to return everything!", she said to her dearest, "and I think I'm going to call their store and complain!" Oh my! She was certainly not pleased. She did try to call, but was unable to reach anyone, since their lines didn't open until noon on Sundays. Unfortunately, another sigh escaped our poor heroine's lips. She gathered herself together and decided to just sit on things for a bit.

That afternoon, she sent a polite, discouraging e-mail to the store in question. And then she sat, patiently waiting for their response. The last time I saw her, she was holding her breath.

What is the moral of this story? Pick up your Wal-Mart Back to Sale Flier and go somewhere else that will honor Wal-mart's advertised prices.

True story.