Sunday, July 20, 2008

Wal-Mart Fairytale

A long time ago, in a land not too far away, there lived a girl. She was an interesting thing, loving to do cartwheels in big fields (but only if the grass wasn't too long- snakes, you know) and randomly sing showtunes. She was the only girl living in her house with her prince and their three darling, innocent boys, of whom she adored.

One evening, while she was fixing a gourmet dinner of corndogs and french fries, her dear prince brought her the mail. "Oh look, darling!" she exclaimed as she read a flier, "there's a Back to School sale going on at Wal-mart starting Sunday." He nodded his approval and she smiled her innocent, sweet smile back at him while she doled out raw carrots on paper plates. "Those are such good prices, "she thought, "I'll be able to get everything I need for such a good price." She danced about the kitchen, cleaning up after the mess she made, and sat down with her family, excited about the prospect of saving her dear family money.

The days rolled by and finally Sunday morning dawned, bright and clear. She yawned and stretched, gazing at the clock that read 5:30am. "I know it is so early, but I must get a jump on things if I am to be the first one to arrive at the big sale!" So our dear heroine jumped out of bed and readied herself for the big sale. "I just can't wait!" She just couldn't wait.

It must be told that she briefly thought on the way to the store, "what if they don't have what I need?" Poor darling. But she dismissed those dismal thoughts and said to herself, "of course they'll have what I need; it's the first day of the sale!" Then she turned on some sunshiny music and sang as she drove into the parking lot of the grand Wal-mart. She walked into the store and hauled out her list of school supplies she needed, did a quick second check, grabbed a grocery cart, and skipped a little as she made her way to the special area designated for the school supplies.

But, dear me, what did she find? All of the school supply bins were empty or nearly empty. "Oh dear!" she thought, "This will never do." She searched the shelves around the school supply bins and found that most of what she needed was not there. "Help! Help!", she cried. "Can't anyone help me?" But, no one came to her aid. She searched high and low and became quite anxious (and maybe a little angry) until she found someone. "Excuse me," she said, not as sweetly as she could've, "but may I speak to a manager." He grouchily replied that he would call someone. So our dear heroine waited and waited until a very gruff, unhappy troll approached her. "Can I help you?", he asked in his gruff voice. She tried not to be frightened, as not to show him her fear, and said, "Kind sir, I came today to your lovely store to partake of your Back to School sale. And all of the things that I came here for are gone!" He looked at her face (charming face) and growled, "didn't know anything about it." And then he turned and went back to his lair. The poor thing! She was certainly unhappy. Her step had lost its bounce and her smile had disappeared! All that time wasted. She was such at a loss, that she didn't know quite what to do. She went and purchased the things she had found, was checked out by a surly, old witch, and then slowly walked back to her awaiting vehicle. She drove home, letting a lone tear slide down her disappointed cheek.

She came home and told her troubles to her waiting prince. He was kind and gave her a much-needed hug and encouraged her. She looked at her receipt and saw that she had been charged more for the items she bought than what was on her flier. Sigh. "I think I'm just going to return everything!", she said to her dearest, "and I think I'm going to call their store and complain!" Oh my! She was certainly not pleased. She did try to call, but was unable to reach anyone, since their lines didn't open until noon on Sundays. Unfortunately, another sigh escaped our poor heroine's lips. She gathered herself together and decided to just sit on things for a bit.

That afternoon, she sent a polite, discouraging e-mail to the store in question. And then she sat, patiently waiting for their response. The last time I saw her, she was holding her breath.

What is the moral of this story? Pick up your Wal-Mart Back to Sale Flier and go somewhere else that will honor Wal-mart's advertised prices.

True story.


Melissa said...

Once again you reaffirm my belief that Walmart is the portal to hell. I'm so sorry love, I have been there, done that and have the shoes to match. Mean ole' Walmart people. (no offense to any employees that are friends of yours reading your blog) But I really do HATE Walmart.

Jawan said...

"Oh, ye should've visited ye 'ole Office Depot, Staples, or Walgreens. Their sales this week range from $.01 to $.05....just mere pennies. Not to mention there are many items with full rebates, making 'dem free", said the frugal Q-pon queen to the fair lady.

Missy said...

Stacy and I just came from Wal mart and have descovered that all the crazy wackos and gay people are there after midnight.

I am not shopping at Wal mart anymore. I am done. Today was my last day and your experience just reafirms it.

I mean, the girl in your lovely story ;)

Kimmi said...

never shop in the evil land of wali-world. you, my dear, must shop in wonderful land of, i mean, the wonderful land of anywhere but wali-world. (remember that in this scene, i am tall and thin. i am smiling beautifically at you as i gracefully wave my magic wand over your head.)

your fairy godmother
kim p

Ansbaughmom said...

Most Walmarts do belong in some science fiction novel. Sorry to hear about your fairy tale with an unhappy ending.

KT said...

I dislike WalMart in a very big way. I am sorry you had a crummy experience. Toys R Us is having buy 1 get 2 free on crayons and markers this week, Target is having some good deals and so is Staples.
Hears to better luck in advance!

Jan said...

Yes, I have learned to stay away from Wal-Mart at all costs. If I am going to kill over from an aneurism I REFUSE to let it be in Wal-Mart!

Anne Marie W. said...

Another thing I hate about Walmart is the fact that now they have these Self check-out registers where you scan and check out your own items. Usually, they have only two or three registers open with lines backed way up but all the Self check-out registers open. To avoid the line I'll check myself out but seems like I should get a discount for scanning and bagging my own groceries!

Anne Marie W. said...

BTW...I thought about you yesterday in church as we sang "Help My Unbelief". Miss y'all!

Lurnus Gude said...

Well, I guess I will add my story. I left my wallet, by mistake, at the checkout. When the girl that checked my out realized it, she didn't run after me or do anything to get it back to me. They will just put it in a drawer until you magically remember laying it there. I accused this poor man at the Pinnacle of taking my wallet, and even had the police call Wal-Mart to check to see if it was there when we realized the man didn't have it. They said, "NO!" The police went to to the store to double-check and....they had it!!!

Rachel said...

all i have to say is you've never been to wal-mart until you've been to the wal-mart in saraland, alabama. two words: circus freaks.

Texas Aggie in Florida said...

Lexi's school has partnered with a fundraising company for a genius select online from this company the school and grade level your child is going to be in, and the grade level teachers have already submitted their supply lists ahead of time. It's called a school pak. And for $25, they ship you your complete supply list and a school gets a cut of the profits as their fundraiser. GENIUS I tell you! GENIUS! Why didn't I think of that. Which reminds me, I need to order her school pak!

Paige M said...

I was planning on school-supply shopping tomorrow. I think I'll start at Wal-Green's.

Funny story.

Is your school supply list two whole pages long? I can't believe all the things the need! I doubt I can get it all at one place. Yuck.

Only two weeks 'til school starts....Yikes.

Stace' said...

To Hell with Wal-Mart. Can I say that on this blog?

Kim said...

You may say whatever you like. As long as you don't hurt my feelings. That would be disastrous.