I'm procrastinating with running. Wednesday I left at 7:30-ish and it was absurdly hot and so I want to leave by 7:00 so that I'm not sweating like a maniac. Mmm, July in the South. I'm excited about training for the 10K (and possibly more) very early in the morning with Andrea (and possibly a couple of others). That will be so much better and I won't have the children with me (they come with me now because of Quinn's job in the middle of the night). The children do NOT enjoy riding their bikes for three miles, as I had hoped they would. Apparently, it's a lot more fun to ride in a driveway with a lot of other children for three hours in the middle of a hot day. However, since I'm the slave driver (and since I'm MILDLY obsessive compulsive about exercise), we go.
Yesterday, I had to go shopping for some unmentionables, with my three darling boys, and this was the conversation before we got out of the car at TJMAXX:
me: Alright, boys. We are going to go in this store and Mommy is going to get some stuff that I need. I need for you to NOT run around and to be mindful of me.
boys in chorus: Yes, ma'am.
me: I do not want you to try on women shoes, throw stuff at each other, use hangers for guns, or hide underneath underwear racks.
boys (with groans) in chorus: Yes, ma'am.
me: I do not want you to take underwear OFF THE RACKS AT ALL. You may not scream and say, 'GROSS'! when you see the underwear. You may not pretend to wear the underwear and walk around doing a funny dance. You may not take bras off the rack and try to capture each other with it.
boys (with laughter) in chorus: Yes, ma'am.
me: Any questions?
No questions and so we got out of the car and filed into the store. The big boys did pretty good playing thumb war and sitting against the wall, where they were instructed to sit. Felix wanted to pull everything off the rack and throw it in the basket. "No, Mommy. I help you!", he would scream when I would put stuff back. "Felix, I don't need you to help me with this." He conceded to this and proceeded to still pull stuff off the rack and ask me if I liked it. "Momma, you like dis one?" After I got onto him again, he proceeded to start kissing my arms, "Momma, I kiss you. Der. Der. Momma! I need to kiss you!" This is also with me interjecting to the big boys to stop screaming "1-2-3-4, I DECLARE A THUMB WAR!" Their thumbs were apparently not enough and so they were standing up and wrestling in the aisle. Then they tried to teach Felix. "Boys, please don't teach Felix 'Thumb War'." Felix screamed, "MOMMA, I WANNA PWAY THUMB WAR, TOO! ME TOO!"
I'm amazed I got anything done. I also got a haircutting kit (ran to Sally's Beauty Supply, bought haircutting scissors, saw that their clippers were really expensive and walked to Marshall's to see what they had, bought a clipper set that included scissors for 25.00, then ran back to Sally's to return the other scissors-all the while grasping at Felix's hand because he wants to "wun to the van, Momma, I hungry!") because Quinn is convinced I can cut his hair. I can cut the boys hair (because they are children and they don't care what their hair looks like), but I'm quite nervous about cutting big man's hair. He's kind of picky about it, but says he's not. I guess I'm going to try and learn. My prediction? He'll be paying for haircuts by January.
Now it's 7:08 and I guess I'm going to broil this morning on my run. Gotta go.
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12 comments:
This post brings back so many memories of crazy shopping trips with all four of my kids. I was laughing at yours; I didn't laugh at my own. Your ability to tell a funny story is amazing.
I love this. We call a lady's boobs "nay-nays" when Jake was 3 to give it a name. So I'm shopping for a bra and pick out 3 bras. As LOUD as he can he shouts - "MOMMY YOU HAVE THREE NAY NAYS"
As far as cutting - you can do anything. Hubby asked me to shave his neck (he used like a #2 razor to buzz his hair), so I'm like - SURE - "oh honey, you forgot a patch above your ear" - with NO guard - BUZZ - down to the skin. Um whoops - he wore a hat for 2 weeks.
I cut Brandons' hair all the time. And I have cut Brian's as well, but he likes to keep it short now so he goes to the hairdresser. We don't have clippers.
Oh my goodness... I totally can picture that scene and relate. However, you make it sound HILARIOUS and I'm giggling over here. :) Hehehehe I love it.
Shaun asked me to trim his hair a while back, but I refused. I am too dang nervous to do it. My mom used to cut my dad's hair (and since he was in the military, it had to be a particular, short cut). I remember once time she was using the trimmers on the back of his head and talking to a friend that was over. The friend made my mom laugh at a joke and my dad ended up with a square in the back of his head. Niiiice.
So either your boys have done all those things or you just gave them a ton of ideas!
Xavier won't let me cut his hair, he won't even let a white barber cut his hair, not even a black barber at a place like Super cuts.
I was just asking him last night if he'd cut my hair for me and he said we'd find the $30 for my haircut.
Kim:
You told them everything to do EXCEPT NOT wrestle in the store! Good job! That's why they did it - because you didn't say not too. :)
Oh yeh, some of the best training you can do for your 10k training is to cross-train. Pick up some intense workout videos for 2 days a week and do them in the house while the boys are playing. I'm serious - this will help your running and endurance SOOOO much!
Also, I cut my boys hair just perfect, but the 2 times I have tried my husbands hair I have ROYALLY messed it up. Send him to someone else!
Have a good day!
In theory it sounds good to cut their hair, think of all the money you save. Good luck I will only say the one time I cut Darrin's hair he had to ware a hat to get an emergency hair cut. Again good luck. Shopping with you is always a fun adventure. I am so excited about shopping for undies and swim suits without the boys.
Tooooo funny! I loved the speech in the car. Sounds vewy familiar to me. :)
I cute Stacys hair so good that he doesn't even have hair anymore ;)
Shopping just sounds way to fun. I mean waaaayyy toooo fun!
Why do children think underwear is so funny?
Seriously, why is underwear so funny to kids? My 4 year old daughter saw my bra in the laundry basket and started laughing that my boobs fell off! Then she put it over her shoulders and paraded around the house saying "bo-obs, bo-obs"
I have seen Q's hair, you can't mess it up. I accused him of brushing it with a brick! You will probably improve it!
I thought you were supposed to ignore the children while shopping and look at them as if they were not your children, roll your eyes, and say "Who brings their children shopping and leaves them by themselves" when another shopper walks by.
Do you think Josh would EVER allow me to attemp a haircut on him....I think not.
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