Monday, June 30, 2008

The Test

I left for the interview (or so I thought) at 9:42am, giving me 18 minutes to get to the school and was eight minutes early. Can't be too early, right? I walk into the school office (side note- I always feel like I'm about to be in big trouble in any school office) and stood at the counter nervously. A big man, whom I recognized as NOT the principal, came into the office and told me he was Nate. Um, hello Nate. He told me the principal had to run an errand, but she would be back soon and was I there to take the test? I answered in the affirmative and he pointed me to a place behind the counter where there was a test booklet (gulp), bubble sheets (gulp again), and two #2 pencils. Thank you, Nate. I saw down at the desk and gazed in horror at the title of the test booklet. Stanford Achievement Test.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen. The SAT. I think I looked and blinked at the book for a full minute. I was told that I would be taking a test to be an assistant to the Music Teacher. She told me the whole process would take about two hours. I (very stupidly) assumed that I would take some sort of test (not the SAT) and then have a chitty chat with the principal. Apparently, no.

After my initial shock wore away, I opened the book and started in. Ah, English. I love grammar and all things that involve Language Mechanics. Nerdy. I know. Reading Comprehension, Language Mechanics, Language Expression, Spelling, and writing a paragraph on a subject of my choosing. Easy, peasy pudding pie. Well, for the most part anyway. And then came the math. I was pleased to discover that I wasn't taking the ENTIRE SAT, but only certain sections of it. There was a basic skill test on math. You know, addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and, ah, percentages. I totally blanked out on the percentage question. I completely forgot how to do it. FORGOT HOW TO DO IT. I sat there trying to figure the problem out, redoing it over and over, knowing that I wasn't coming up with the correct answer. After about 15 minutes, with nothing else to complete, I left it blank (I hate to leave spaces blank-no bubble to fill in on that one or I would've guessed) and packed up the papers and booklet. I sheepishly told the principal I had forgotten how to do percentages, which she laughed off and told me that I could miss six out of twenty on the math page. Thank goodness she had a sense of humor. I felt pretty dumb. She told me she would grade the test and call me tomorrow about an interview. Of course, this is pending that I'm not an idiot. Tomorrow. (By the way, "Tomorrow." is not a sentence. I did that for emphasis. Total artistic breaking of grammar rules. I did it on purpose. Just so you know.)

How could I forget how to do percentages? I shop all the time and KNOW how take %35 off a coveted jacket. I don't know. Brain cramp, I guess. I am still having trouble remembering. Perhaps I need to shop to feel better. Eh? I NEED to work on my math skills.


laytonfamily said...

holy smokes, they made you take the SAT - your more dedicated than me, I would have found another job! But this is also the girl who is a HORRIBLE test taker and didn't finish her degree! (eek)

fyi - I'm getting pride and prejudice tomorrow for the trip, your the second person who has mentioned it to me in 4 days!

care-in said...

That's crazy! I've never heard of that.

Kimmi said...

love me some math!!! well, i love it as long as i'm not trying to teach a reluctant teenager. lol let us know how it goes.

Melissa said...

An SAT for a music teaching job??? I'm still scratching my head on that one, I don't get it. What if it was all a big practical joke. I would have turned and walked out as soon as I discovered it was an SAT test I had to take. Too much anxiety for me!

Laura Leigh said...

Love, love, love, love, love your "total artistic breaking of grammar rules" for emphasis.

And laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed that you felt compelled to explain it!

Missy said...

I know one percentage...
I can hear you reading your blog to me 100% of the time.
Made me smile! :)

j_webb said...

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

– Albert Einstein

A retired mathematician took up gardening, and is now growing carrots with square roots.

Mermaid mathematicians wear algaebras.

He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice
and said, "Now that's addition."

As he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back
and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."

Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!"


Paige M said...

"someone" (see above comment) has too much time on their hands...

oh, tests scare me. I know you did great. I can't wait to hear how it all turns out!

I sent the reference in Monday morning!

heather said...

Not all fractions? I know how you love fractions. Really SAT Mississippi has so pretty high standards.

piklpaper said...

yeah, shopping should help you recover from that ridiculous testing madness - found any good thrift stores around those parts?

dana said...

I have just revisited your blog after a long regrettable absence. I truy have laughed out loud. You need to write for the Jackson Times or the Jackson Picayne or whatever newpaper they have there.
loving it,

laytonfamily said...

FYI - I got the book! A "special edition" with some cheat sheet notes and all to help with the reading. Basically, Pride and Prejudice for Dummies!

Marsha said...

Ah, Kimmy, Stanford Achievement Test is NOT THE SAT. THE SAT is called the Scholastic Aptitude Test. What you took was a test similar to the CAT5 or California Achievement Test or the Basic Iowa Test (which is probably currently under water right now).

Poor dear, I'm sure you did well. You are a very good communicator and I'm sure that's what they were checking.