1. Wake up early (4am) to change the sheets of the baby's bed who wet it. Then allow him to kick you in your own bed until 6:15.
2. Get up and decide to go running before it's too hot.
3. At 7:30am, attempt to run and decide that you have to go running before 6am to not get hot.
4. Come home and tell the baby "no" to popsicles 15 times. Get him water instead so that he can pour it out somewhere else. On purpose.
5. Make husband breakfast (because that's the kind of wife you are) and then shower to get ready to go to the library, which was the original agenda for the day.
6. At 9:15, come out in kitchen with wet hair to get some yummy cherries, only to hear dearest of husbands say, "maybe we should get our Mississippi Driver's License today."
7. Gulp. Say expletive inwardly. Get out ironing board to iron a shirt and give him a look.
8. Groan inwardly as he tells you, "it doesn't matter that we have valid Alabama Driver's Licenses, we have to get a Mississippi license." Fine.
9. Dry and curl hair, put make-up on, and get dressed to go to the lovely Dept. of Public Safety. Then, remember that your Social Security Card is SOMEWHERE in the attic. The very hot attic.
10. Daringly mutter expletives out loud in the attic as you try to find the stinkin' card. In the attic.
11. Make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the children at 10:22 so that we don't have to stop for lunch.
12. At 11:10, (why does everything take so long to do?) load troops in the car and trek to downtown Jackson.
13. At 11:30, stop at Social Security office because hubby didn't know where his card was. (Where IS that card anyway?) Wait in lobby with no chairs and three boys for an hour while he gets a copy of his card from upstairs somewhere.
14. Head through more of downtown Jackson, which is cool, listening to Nickel Creek and laughing with your husband. This is very fun and one of the most enjoyable parts of the day.
15. At 12:45, find the Department of Transportation and get all of the children out, only to be told that you are looking for the Department of Public Safety, located a couple miles down the road.
16. 12:47: load troops back in car, asking the question, "why isn't the DMV located at the Department of Transportation?" Also, ask yourself, "Why are there so many government buildings in Jackson?", and "Why are they located all over the place?"
17. Answer the question, "Because it's the capital, smarty-pants."
18. At 12:55, pull into Department of Public Safety, enter the building with three hungry (sandwich has really done nothing), impatient boys and TAKE A NUMBER. We are numbers #88 and 89. Now serving #70. Not too, too bad.
19. Sit and wait. Sit and wait more. Watch numbers blink across screen with everybody else in the room. Remember that it took 15 minutes TOTAL to get your Driver's License last year in St. Clair county, Alabama. That includes parking and going to the bathroom, AND paying for new tags for both vehicles. And it was the best Driver's License picture EVER.
20. 1:35 Ding! #88!!!! Hop up lightning fast or they will call the next number.
21. 1:45 Finish up with nice DMV lady (Can you believe it, she even complimented how good the children were being!) and take your mediocre-pictured Driver's License and walk to the lobby to wait for hubby who was called just after you. Note that the number blinking on the screen has just turned to 96 and the last number on the Take a Number thing is 42. Be glad you got there when you did.
22. 1:52 Tell middle child to stop asking for a milkshake five times in a row.
23. 1:54 Tell middle child he is not ever going to get a milkshake, in his life, because he can't stop asking for it.
24. 1:56 Note that the baby is chewing gum. From where? Hopefully not the floor, next to the Chiclets gumball machine.
25. 2pm Hubby finishes up (his picture was good-unfair, he doesn't even care) and we head to load up.
26. 2:20 Pull into Sonic near our house to take advantage of the Happy Hour Half-Price Slushees. Why does yours taste like mothballs? Who knows. Decide not to throw it away because you're starving.
27. 2:45 Head to Gamestop to let eldest child spend birthday money.
28. 3:00 Head to Library to let children quietly check out books and sign up for the Summer Reading Program. (Or to let children run about like wild banshees while you sign the children up three weeks late for the Summer Reading Program). Check out Carol Burnett show and Little Women DVD's to watch without hubby, who will totally make fun of you.
29. 4:00 Head home to repeatedly tell the baby "no" to popsicles because he just had a slushee.
30. 4:30 Make dinner early. 5:00 Get children bathed early. Watch reruns of the Muppet Show (also at the library) with the children and hubby. 6:15 Hubby goes to bed early because he's very sleepy. 7:30 Children go to bed early because they are worn out.
8:10 Day is successfully over.
And now, after an exceedingly long day, which was actually pretty fun, why don't you polish off the rest of the chocolate mousse cake with cold, COLD whipped cream and watch the Carol Burnett show until you fall asleep on the couch.