"Guilty people make others feel guilty; free people make others free. And you can always tell how guilty a person feels by noticing how guilty you feel around him or her. Can I repeat that? You can always tell how guilty a person feels by noticing how guilty you feel around him or her. Jesus has made you free. It is important that you bring others to Him for the same surgery that He has performed on you." -Steve Brown, Born Free
I am guilty by nature. I feel guilty about relationships, things I've said, being selfish, being too quick to judge, eating too much, exercising too little, not performing correctly, not drinking enough water, complaining, complacency in my marriage-relationship with God-my kids, yelling at my kids, ignoring my kids, not cleaning the house, not cooking dinner, spending too much money, telling secrets I said I wouldn't tell, not calling someone I should've called, being self-righteous, watching too much TV, blah, blah, blah... You know the list. I say you know it because EVERYBODY has their list of guiltiness. Quinn sent me this quote yesterday. Am I that person? I want to not be the person who makes the group of people around me feel guilty. I AM free. I am FREE! I am free! He has transformed me and I am free. There is a pressure on Christian women to be this amazing "testimony". Got my make-up on, got my style just SO, cook a big supper for whomever may drop in, keep the house clean, laundry done, always spouting words of wisdom and spiritual eloquence, and my big plastic smile firmly in place. All in the name of being this perfect girl for Jesus. It ain't me.
I am a mess for Jesus. Hopefully, through my stumbling, fumbling words the gospel is lived out. Maybe through my verbal diarrhea someone finds encouragement to be real in their relationships. Perhaps through crying through my failure (again, again, again) someone sees that Jesus is gracious. Maybe through my living freely someone will take their first step to seeing what Jesus means when He says "You're Free". I want to be done with the straitjacket of guilt; it's very constricting.