Consequently, I don't sleep well all the time. I envy people who sleep well. I have a lot of nightmares.
I woke up sobbing yesterday morning because of this dream...
I was wandering in a forest. Sometimes Quinn was there and sometimes he wasn't. I started to become frantic, looking around the trees and running-calling a name that I couldn't hear. Quinn would appear for a short time and then disappear. My three boys were not with me. I finally found what I was looking for: a baby. I am sure it was my own baby, even though I had never seen it. It was covered in dirt and it was not alive. I was screaming and holding the baby, trying to feel for a pulse.
And I woke up sobbing.
It was disturbing to me.
I am still thinking about it.