Saturday, September 20, 2008

Star-Spangled Patriotism and Sponge Rollers

As, I'm sure, you well know, our country has celebrated two monumentous anniversaries this week. Now, I see the puzzled looks on your face and I'm surprised. Doesn't everyone celebrate the 194th anniversary of the writing of the Star-Spangled Banner by Francis Scott Key (or, as the kindergarteners say, "Mr. KEEEEEEEEY") on the fourteenth of this month and Constitution Day, celebrated on the eighteenth? (crickets chirping) Well I, in my righteousness, have celebrated them both to their limit these past two weeks. I have listened to the Star-Spangled Banner over 100 times (NOT an overexaggeration), This Land is Your Land 32 times (at least), and read Robert Sabouda's (fabulous pop-up books) America the Beautiful 31 times. I'm feeling very patriotic and maybe a little tired of the Star-Spangled Banner. I do have motions for both the Star-Spangled Banner (using red and blue picnic plates) and This Land is Your Land, if you're interested in learning them for your own enrichment. Sometimes, I like to practice them at home to be reminded of my patriotism.

Yesterday afternoon, as the family set out for a evening of fun (hey, my kids think that the library, the grocery store, and Mexican food is fun), we drove through the bank to get a leetle bit of cash. The woman two cars in front of us had to get out of her car to retrieve her cash (she was too far away from the machine, I guess) and Quinn nudged me to look at her. She was a middle-aged woman, with sweats on and enormous, green, plastic rollers in her hair. I smiled and said, "maybe she's gotta hot date."
"She doesn't look like she'd have a hot date."
"Maybe she wants to look nice for her husband." He shot me a look. "Would you go out like that?"
Well, friends, I'll tell you. Recently, to avoid showering in the morning and drying and hot-rolling my mass of hair, I've been showering in the evening, applying some sort of product to my hair (I'm a product junkie), and then rolling my hair in rags. And by rags I mean an old, torn-into-strips-dishcloth that I roll a thick strand of wet hair up in and tie in a knot at the top of my head. I sleep on it and the next morning, I have glossy, very curly, curls. I like it, except that sometimes it's too curly. The first time I did it, I sat down next to Quinn on the couch, with my pile of rag strips, and set to it. He inquired what I was doing, to which I told him, and then when I was done he said, "sexy." Oh yeah, in an 18th century kind of way. I've been eyeing sponge rollers in the store recently, thinking they might be nice to have to sleep in. I realize, if you're a man, this is your nightmare. The next step is a heavy, green, facemask that smells a little weird. However, it is very nice to eliminate such an arduous task in the morning. So (now referring to previous story) while I would never INTEND to leave the house with rollers in my hair, I can see how it might happen. You shower in the morning, knowing about plans in the evening. You roll your hair in big plastic rollers, knowing you're not leaving the house for the day, and will not see other humans. You realize, after your hair is dry, but positive that the curls have not set, that you forgot to run to the bank to get cash for your plans in the evening. You talk yourself into running to the bank, knowing you won't have to get out of the car, just to get cash. You pull in too far away from the ATM machine and have to get out of the car and the guy two cars behind you laughs at your rollers. Yes, I can see that happening to me. And then I can see me pulling through Chic-Fil-A on the way home to get a chocolate milkshake. Because that guy hurt my feelings.

I currently am typing this post with enormous, hot rollers in my hair. And I'm out of hairspray, (EEK! The horror! I hate being out of hairspray) I have to leave them in for a long time to let the curls set. Maybe I could just run to the store for a second...

10 comments:

laytonfamily said...

duh - Mexican food is a fun night, I don't care who you are!

care-in said...

I did the pink sponge rollers as a kid and my hair was very curly at first but perfect curls by the end of the day. Watch out!

Melissa said...

I'm having flash backs to high school when I had the time and energy to do all this to my hair and skin. I am a recovering product junkie. Brian nipped that in the bud real quick when we got married. It's not right to spend 50 bucks or more in beauty products a month. So he says. Men.

And it is better for my marriage if I avoid going to bed with "treatments" on my face and hair. Just sayin....

Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
j_webb said...

This post got me thinking (to replace thoughts of large women in rollers) about OBAMA and his lack of patriotism. Here is what he supposedly said recently about refusing to wear a flag pin and saluting the flag during our anthem:
'As I've said about the flag pin, I don't want to be perceived as taking sides,' Obama said. 'There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all. It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song 'I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing.' If that were our anthem, then I might
salute it.'

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this could possibly be our next president!!
I, for once, am speechless. He has absolutely NO pride in this country!!!!!

Missy said...

Well this was interesting.
I am trying to picture the strips of rag in your hair. I think you should post a picture so we can have a visual. :)

Kerri Wardlaw said...

I second Missy's comment!!

MattD said...

For a minute I thought you were talking about your halloween costume..but you were SERIOUS!

Paige M said...

can you IMAGINE what my hair would look like if I slept in rollers? Very scary thought...

Rachel said...

i'm sure Mississippi has seen it's fair share of curler-clad women...i don't think She'd be too shocked...