Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Verbal Diarrhea strikes!

Can you say verbal diarrhea? Oh, I can. Unfortunately, I am so aware of this disease and have decided that I need to bring awareness to the world so that you can know if you have it.

Do you, when feeling uncomfortable, start talking and can't stop?

Do you, especially around others, know that the previous is happening and literally start panicking over the things you are saying?

Do you, in your panic, start backtracking and end up sounding a little bit more crazy with each passing second?

Do you, with crazy eyes, secretly beg people to not think you are crazy and then they tell you that you are not crazy so that you will get out of their house?

Do you replay the conversation over and over in your mind, trying to make it not true? And then does it get worse when you replay it?

Do you lose sleep over the conversation and worry about it for weeks?

Do you cringe in remembrance of the conversation?

Does the thought of actually seeing the people who you have had said conversation with make your heart beat faster and make you feel like you would rather eat worms and die?

If any of these things have happened to you, then I'm afraid that you have VD (not venereal disease- not even going there). I would suggest you get help, but I'm afraid that doctors are not taking this disease seriously. We must raise awareness of this issue! Call your closest friend and tell her she must stand with you at all times and kick you periodically in the butt to get your attention when you start talking too much. Otherwise, there's not much hope. Call your local senator today!


heather said...

Hey I love that you have vd I just hope it is not contatgious but since hanging out with you more and more I think it may be.p.s.I have a blogg now heather-lifeasiknowit bloggspot

Missy said...

What in the world? I am replaying all of our recent coversations to see if any of it fits into VD and I can't think of anything. Unless it's me, OH my gosh Kim, do you think I have VD? Did I give you TMI today?
Good grief, I'm calling Richard Shelby!

Laura said...

From one friend to another -- I think you worry way too much about this. You are funny and entertaining, and I've never once felt like I needed to kick you under the table. :)

Laura said...

Neither have I ever felt like I needed to kick you in the butt.

Crissy said...

As President of REVVD (Resource Education for Vicious Verbal Diarrhea), I would like to take a moment to thank you for the free publicity. Our cause is a worthy one and not to be taken lightly.

One word of advice, make sure this 'closest friend' doesn't also suffer from VD because the results can be disastrous.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lord help get off the floor from laughing so hard I fell out of my chair!!!! - yes, this is a small example of my case of VD - translation - ROFL

Kim I love ya! Love love love ya!