Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Essence of My Life

What does my life smell like? It depends on your perspective. Sometimes it smells like piles of dirty laundry being ignored in the hall or mildewed socks that were discarded wet... in the corner... in shoes... two weeks ago. Sometimes it smells like Tide and Bounce and I enjoy smelling every piece of clean laundry (really, every single piece).

Sometimes I come in the house and squint my eyes and wrinkle my nose and say "what is that smell?'' Then I look for it until I find and discard it in the outside trash. Sometimes I come in my house and smell Pot Roast that has been cooking for six hours and breathe deep and sigh. My favorite smell is a baking triple chocolate bundt cake that is almost done. Or chocolate chip cookies. Or banana bread. Or pumpkin pie. Or maybe a giant turkey with gravy, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, Yankee dressing (what I refer to as my dad's most delicious white bread dressing... Perhaps I should say what Quinn refers to as my dad's dressing. Either way, it's magnificent.), and yeast rolls. Yum, I love food. I absolutely adore the smell of something yummy cooking in the oven.

Sometimes my house smells dank and unopened. It feels dark and smells of air conditioner. This time of year I love to open the windows in the morning and let that cool air drift through the house. It smells of fall. I can never fully explain the smell of fall. And I almost want to dread it because I detest being freezing, but then the end of September comes and I am in love and dream of boots and trouser jeans. I love the smell of a great candle, like vanilla bean or pumpkin spice.

Sometimes the smell of sweat overwhelms you in the house. Especially after exercise. And boys, with Crocs. Blech... Crocs make for nasty smelling feet. But then there is baby bath and Pert Plus and the boys are edible again and ready for cuddling. And the shower that I dread, especially when I wash my hair. Mmmm, my mother-in-law gave me this brown sugar scrub that smells so good and I love the smell of Pantene shampoo. Clean: hate to get there, but love to be there.

Sometimes I feel like that I'm repulsive in every way. I hate the way I look, or the way something fits. I hate that I overeat and that I'll never weigh 115 pounds. I just feel that, no matter how much I roll in my own perfume, I still have never recognized that it is my own filth and my love to revel in it outweighs the love for my Saviour. My life seems to be this never ending circle of faith, pride, unbelief, destruction, consequences, and repentance. He sees me differently and poored out Himself for me. How can that be? The essence of my life... I am clothed in the finest of robes though I see rags and I smell of the finest perfume though I deserve my own filth. Grace greater than all my sin!

11 comments:

Jawan said...

Smells like teen spirit...before you know it, those three boys will be sweating even more (puberty) and then your house will really be dank.

michelle said...

I love this post. I am not kidding last Sunday our sermon was about "smelling like Christ" well, that's not what it was about but our pastor said it a lot. I definately smell Christ all over you girl. In your humility, and love for people, and your passion etc. Mmmmm....makes me want to take a whiff ;)

andrew said...

hey Kim. I like the flow of consciousness style of the post; some great stuff comes out (e.g., "clean: hate to get there, love to be there"- absolutely); still, I was surprised at the turn your thoughts took at the end, almost as if the muddle (I would say the holy muddle) of our dirt-gathering bodies and their beautiful-absurd circumstances were sinful. Your not a Gnostic, right? Enjoy them mashed taters- as God intended.

Marsha said...

Some great thoughts Kimmy! Enjoyed your post.
I love the way the God's Word makes use of our senses to draw comparisons and make us think. 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 says, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the SWEET AROMA of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a FRAGRANCE of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an AROMA from death to death, to the other an AROMA from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?"

Rachel Garcia said...

hey girl.. i love reading your blog. you are excellent at creativity and simplicity. you make big truths easy to chew on. I love it. i love when you reminde us that are clothed in His righteousness! Good stuff, as always..

Abbey said...

I loved this too, girl! I also love the smell of fall, but never can put my fingetr on it's exact aroma either. I think I mostly love the fact that all things from the past days fall away and make room for new growth. That seems as though it should smell amazing.
I love the smell of Wilson's stinky feet. Why? I have no idea. He's just still young enough that it feels OK to wrap his warm tiny chubby toes around my nostrils, breath in deeply, and actually enjoy it. It makes me sad that those feet will soon grow to match his older brother's whose now smell like vinegar. Oh, such a good post. I'm obsessed with smells.
I do have a couple of questions, though...
1.)You can afford Tide??
2.)Trouser jeans?? What in the hell is that?

Kim said...

Tide was on sale the last time I went to Walmart and I love Tide. I got one of the smelly ones (of course) and it just smells so good. Also, HELLO, do you not know what Trouser Jeans are? They've got your name all over them. They ride a little low on the belly and are wide-legged with a cuff. The ones I have are Banana Repulic that I got at Plato's consignment and they are my new favorites. Really dress up an outfit.

Abbey said...

Are they like actual jeans? I need to check this out...me thinks me need some.

Kim said...

Yes, actual jeans, and yes, you do.

Amy said...

Hey Kim,
You need one of our youth mission tees from this summer's work week...it says on the front "how do I smell?" and then on the back it quotes the 2 Cor. 2: 14-15 scripture verse. I wore this one yesterday at our interview with Acts 29 guys. That was their first question: "does your shirt say, how do I smell???" ha, ha, what a way to break the ice! I love it cause I always get asked what does that mean??
Plus I love the colors: dk. brown and turquoise...want one??

Jennifer said...

This is such a great post. I love your thoughts and ability to express them. Thanks.