Saturday, September 22, 2007

ANNOUNCEMENT!

No, I'm not pregnant. I just wanted to let everyone know that I have set a new precedence for myself. Lately I have been made aware, by my own incapabilities, that I cannot keep my house clean for longer than two hours. This last fact I have known for some time but I constantly fought it. "Surely" (this is me to myself) "Surely I can keep the house clean for the evening until tomorrow morning." This, unfortunately, cannot be. It always surprises me that in the morning the house is a wreck. Maybe I shouldn't be blaming myself at all. Maybe it's the dirty house trolls that leave their secret hiding places when I fall asleep. They pour little Cheezit crumbs on the floor and pour a tiny bit of milk and cheerios on the table so that by morning it turns to concrete. They pee on the back of the toilet and leave cat hair on the sofa. The sink is full of dirty dishes and the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and have been for at least 36 hours. It's the trolls who wear clothes for one hour and throw them in the hamper and leave poop streaks in their underwear.

Anyway, I am not going to clean my house anymore. I left the house yesterday morning knowing that people were coming for lunch and my house was horrible. So that was my start. Then the house was basically clean last night and this morning it was a pigsty (really, how does it happen?). I've decided that I will singlehandedly make dirty, disgusting houses the new style. If you come to house, I will brew a nice pot of coffee in my disgusting coffee pot and we will clear a spot on the sofa to chat. I will wear my jeans (trouser ones of course) that can stand up in the corner by themselves and always wear shoes so that I don't feel the dirt under my feet in the kitchen. That sounds nice.

Not really. It's giving me the heebs just thinking about it. So I guess I'll load the dishwasher and mop the kitchen floor. And the bathroom floor. And just maybe I'll venture upstairs to clean the boys bathroom. Eewww. Maybe not. Quinn will eventually announce that the boys bathroom is disgusting and he'll clean it. He does a really good job. I'll throw a load of clothes in the washer and vacuum the bedrooms (do your bedrooms get vacuumed ever?). Maybe I'll even dust. The house does smell good when it's clean. For two hours. Ah well...

7 comments:

michelle said...

I KNOOOOWWW!!! I wish you would make this the fad. I would be so cool. Ugh!

Paige M said...

Dirty house trolls, huh? They have been visiting my house lately too!
Stinkin' trolls!

Abbey said...

No, my bedroom doesn't get vaccuumed until so much "stuff" gets stuck to the bottoms of mine and Matt's feet that we carry it under the sheets with us and it drives us crazy. When this happens, then definitely by the next time company comes over, I vaccuum the bedroom. Otherwise I hate vaccuuming the beddroom.
Does vaccuum have 2 C's and 2 U's? Doesn't look right.

Kim said...

Vacuum has one C and two U's. Bedroom has one D.

Spelling is also another obsession.

Missy said...

I woodnt no.

Marsha said...

Deer Kym (sounds like gym),
Hookd on fonics werkd fer me, than I tawt Missie. :)

Rachel Garcia said...

i love love the comment about the jeans being able to stand by themselves in the corner!! Because i own like two pairs of jeans, thats it, unless of course we are talking maternity clothes..anyhoo.. i am so glad to know that I am also not the only one who has trolls in my house.. i hate the trolls that leave leftovers in the fridge forever until you have your own science lab...and you wonder why every time you open your fridge something smells like it died. then you get more upset that you were trying to be a good steward and do leftovers and you realize you just can't maintain the leftovers.. and then you feel guilty.. well because of the trolls obviously.