I woke up an hour ago (2:30) too warm and with an acute case of the worries. I'm yawning as I type, so hopefully that means that I can go back to sleep before Monday morning begins. I thought just voicing my thoughts would help me get some clarity and that my lovely friends would remind me with just Whom I'm dealing.
We're not 100% about going to Jackson yet, but I know we're probably going to seminary very soon. Seminary has always made me nervous because of the expense. There are scholarships and church matching grants available, so I hope we are able to qualify for those. I think what has me worried and up in the middle of the night is just HOW the Lord is going to have us live. What does my life look like in seminary? I'm nervous about leaving the baby (who's not a baby anymore) if I were to work. Actually, working outside the home is giving me a little anxiety. I haven't had to put together a resume in years. Unless we decide to put the boys in a private school (which would have to work out by a miracle), they will be going to two different elementary schools, which makes me nervous. What about Quinn? Will having a part-time job be too much for him? There are a hundred different little worrisome thoughts swirling in my head. I'm even worrying about food and such, even though that's ridiculous. We've never gone hungry and I pursue cheapness in many ways.
I feel that we are pursuing a call. I know the Lord will provide for our needs. Hello, we are living in the Clayton's pool house, which is what I'm reminded of when I'm worried about the Lord providing. I guess I'm just fearing the unknown. What does the future look like for us?