Tuesday, February 12, 2008

An Old Battle Continues...

This morning I decided that I would torture myself by trying on clothes that are 5 pounds too small for me... Now I'm depressed and annoyed with myself. I know that I am not the only woman who does this. It starts with picking out something to wear. We are painting Valentine's Day boxes today, so I'm electing to wear older jeans and an older shirt. My jeans feel too small, but just a little bit. I feel the panic rising in my chest as I zip up my jeans and head to the bathroom mirror to take a look. They don't look too small EXACTLY, but I feel that they are more snug than they were the last time I put them on. So I head back to my bedroom and stand in the closet and pick out every single pair of pants that are the size of my jeans and methodically try them on to see if they fit. And now dresses... And now skirts... If I could easily get to my shorts I would try them on, too. This method is a must for me and now I've made an enormous mess in my room because, of course, I don't hang anything back up. It's almost like a binge try on session that I temporarily lose my mind. And I've confirmed what I now know; I've gained five-ish pounds. (A scale is not good for me to have because I get a little crazy with the numbers. Imagine that). I slip on the old jeans again and decide that it will make me mad all day to wear them. So I put on newer jeans that I know will get paint on them. Now I'm almost ready to give up on the day and sit in pajamas. Sigh. The thing is, I'm training for a 5K three days a week and am doing weight training. And I know what you're thinking- you gain with weight training first, but not in your middle! I think I've been hungrier with running so I eat more. And I've been panic eating in the evening for some reason. Grrrr. The old battle continues. Why can't I just eat when I'm hungry and not eat when I'm not?

Simmering in my mess....

7 comments:

Scott H said...

Chicks are funny! Do what we men do, get you some STRETCHY PANTS!Like Nacho. Si es muey biene.

Rachel Garcia said...

that is the truth.. my dh husband started buying slacks that have stretch.. true sign of middle age!

hey you could just get preggers again and then all you do is throw up.. hard to put on any weight that way..
um.. forget i said that.

jeremy said...

kim, the soileaus love you ed zachery the way you are. no if, ands or large butts.

Melissa said...

This is the exact reason I have 12 pairs of jeans and they are all different sizes. Brian doesn't get it.

MattD said...

Training for a run and lifting? Good for you. I'm impressed. Believe it or not I was a BIG work out freak until a few yrs ago...just getting back into it..eat 4-5 small meals a day..helps your metabolism..complex carbs in after workouts and you'l lose fast..I've lost about 15 pounds in the last 2 1/2 wks..

Rachel said...

i mean, i'm 119 pounds and still think i'm fat when i look in the mirror. i've just decided that, alas, this is how it will always be. i personally think you're one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen. but thats just me..

Christy said...

So funny Kim:)