Yeah, so I changed my layout. I did it here on Shabby Blogs (Thanks Virge) and I love it (if you're on FB and want to see my fabulous new blog background, click on the original post thingy at the bottom). It was the least complicated background change I've ever done. Most erase everything you've done (like in the sidebars), but this one was super easy.
I've been thinking about having a daughter this week. And also about ants, which have raided our house this week. But mostly, I've been thinking about having a daughter. I have visions of a dark-haired little girl, with an easy smile and a winning spirit that attracts many friends. And she may be sweet, but she could possibly be bossy (I'm a bit bossy), she could be neurotic (ahem- let's not even go there), she could could be manipulative (not me!), she could be overwrought and emotional and snotty (visions of myself when I was fourteen) and she could have dark, swarthy eyebrows. You may be thinking, "What? You don't have dark, swarthy eyebrows!". Oh, yes I do. I carry tweezers and a mirror with me at all times (just in case I have an eyebrow emergency). I still have visions of being called Kim Dukakis in 1988. Do you remember him? Allow me to remind you.
Michael Dukakis has swarthy eyebrows. Just saying...
Anyway, why does this matter? It doesn't. Except that I'm vain and neurotic and self-righteous and want her to beautiful and winning and sweet (See? That reflects how good of a mother I am). I've never thought about any of those things when I've been pregnant with the boys. My only thought when I've been pregnant with the boys is, "Wow, I wish I would stop throwing up." But now we've introduced a new element in this life and that is how I (ME) could affect my daughter. Will she watch me obsess about food when I feel out of control? Will she see that I'm more conscious of my appearance that I should be? Hmmm... How irrational my expectations are! I am a sinner raising children! My human-ness affects everything I do. Really, the only thing I know that I do right is saying to my children, "Hey guys, Mom's not good enough on my own effort to get to heaven, thank goodness for the sacrifice of Jesus and the grace of a loving God. I'm gonna screw up big-time (and do all the time), but Jesus is perfect."
And we've already raised (practically speaking and with the help of her mother) one little girl and I'm watching her be an adult with exceptional interest. She's beautiful and kind and we're awfully proud of her. She's our girl.
Maybe she could help us out a bit with baby girl #2... What do you say, Rach?